Sexual Abuse | carmenmargro

Sexual abuse is a form of physical abuse

Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. Furthermore, people whose partners abuse them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed.

Sexual abuse is sexual contact, not involving penetration, in which the victim does not or is unable to give knowing consent. Sexual contact, not involving penetration, may include intentional fondling by the assailant (directly or through clothing) of the sex organs, buttocks, or breasts for the purpose of sexual gratification of the assailant. The definition also includes the victim being coerced into fondling the assailant.

It is important to note that both definitions are gender neutral. Sexual assault and sexual abuse can be emotionally devastating to victims of either sex. However, as the victims are more often females.

The long-term effects may be influenced by the severity of the assault, the survivor’s existing coping skills, and the support the person has afterwards. Nevertheless, the following responses are experienced by many survivors:

A survivor’s self-esteem often diminishes after an assault or abuse. Frequently she feels shamed, humiliated, guilty, angry, and powerless.
A survivor’s attitude toward her body may be negatively affected. This change may lead to self-abuse (alcohol abuse, overeating, self-mutilation).
A survivor may find it difficult to trust and to be intimate with others.
A survivor may not want sexual intimacy for some time or may engage in risky sexual behaviors.
A survivor may experience flashbacks of the incident.
A survivor may experience fear of being alone and fear of a future attack.
A survivor may experience nightmares or other sleep disturbances.
A survivor may not be able to concentrate and focus. This can affect academic and/or job performance.

How to Help a Survivor of Recent Sexual Assault/Abuse

Talk, listen, respect and be emotionally available to the survivor.
Accept what the survivor tells you.
Accept the fact that the assault/abuse happened.
Understand that it is not the survivor’s fault.
Listen nonjudgmentally. Suggest options and actions (medical, psychological and other assistance), but let the survivor decide what action to take.
Let the survivor talk about the incident, but don’t force a discussion.
Respect and understand that temporarily the survivor may become distant from loved ones.
Assure the survivor that you will be available to provide support throughout the process of recovery.
Give the survivor time to heal. Be patient and understand that the healing process takes time.
Take the initiative to maintain communications with the survivor.
Moderate your natural tendencies to become overprotective.
The survivor may need to seek medical attention immediately. You can help by encouraging and accompanying the survivor to obtain medical attention. If the survivor wishes to seek criminal action, this should be done as soon as possible after the incident.

How to Help Yourself

Talk with people you can trust. You too need support from others.
If you are male and the survivor is female, do not take personally any hatred she feels towards men. Her anger with the perpetrator and may generalize into a temporary anger toward all men.
Talk to a counselor or call a rape crisis hotline. It is hard to witness someone in emotional pain. Take care of yourself as you help the survivor.
Educate yourself about rape and rape prevention.
Moderate your stress levels through activities with other friends and or through quality time.”
Do not expect to be able to make the survivor feel better all of the time.
Do not blame the survivor. Even when you feel poor judgments were made by the survivor, no one deserves to be sexually assaulted or abused.
Do not blame yourself. The only person who is at fault is the person who committed the crime.

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Sexual Abuse